daine baale siree bhagavaan aur intalanechhanal fakeela

hafte ke ek niyat din khataadee aur usake aasapaas ke mohallon men bheekh maangane aane vaalaa ek boodhaa itanee jyaadaa dafe apanee behad sadiyal aur bharraaee huee aavaaj men daine baale siree bhagavaan ... daine baale siree bhagavaan kahate hue bheeshan bor kiyaa karataa thaa ki usake siree bhagavaan kaa jaap sunate hee log aataa-chaaval ityaadi ke katore lekar apane gharon se baahar nikal aate taaki boodhaa jaldee dafaa ho aur kaanon kee khaal n utaar paae. boodhaa logon kee dayaalutaa ko sveekaarane aur kisee prakaar kaa aasheervachan ityaadi dene men vishvaas naheen karataa thaa. vah usee asnprikt shailee men daine baale siree bhagavaan ... daine baale siree bhagavaan kaa jaap karataa huaa aage badhtaa jaataa aur log boodhe ko jaldee mar jaane kaa mook aasheervachan dete hue apane kivaad band kar liyaa karate.

lafttoo ko yah boodhaa kuchh jyaadaa hee pasand thaa aur vah usake khataadee paar karate hee bhaag kar usake paas jaataa aur us se thitholee kiyaa karataa. "challiyaa kyoon kabal kalane?" boodhaa ekaadh baar to usakee baat sunataa par usake baad usakaa paaraa chadhtaa aur vah jmeen par pade kisee dhele se lafttoo kee mundee ko nishaanaa banaane kee asafal koshish karataa. tab tak "beeyo o o o ...ee" kahataa lafttoo seftee jon men pravesh kar chukataa.

un jaadon men himaalay men dharamendar aur bamafataakaa maalaasinnaa kee pikchar aankhen lagee. ek baar punh laalasinh kee adbhut soshiyal naitavarking ke chalate hamen baakaayade hol ke bheetar skreen se aankhen sataakar dekhane kaa fokat suavasar praapt huaa. getakeepar laalasinh kaa jaananevaalaa thaa aur badaa laundiyaabaaj. yah doosaree soochanaa hamen laalasinh aur keval laalasinh ne dee thee. hamen laalasinh ke saath pikchar hol ke get par khadaa dekh baunaa tanik baukhalaayaa kyonki usake bijnes par chhotaa saa khataraa bhinnautaayamaan hone ko thaa lekin jab lafttoo ne baune ko jaldee-jaldee teen pattal banaane kaa aordar diyaa to baune ke aatmavishvaas men jraa badhottaree huee. abhee leejiye baaboojee kahakar vah apane mahaanakalaakarm men sannaddh hone ko hee thaa ki fuchchee kaptaan se bhee jyaadaa kalootaa ek bhusakait taaip kaa laundaa laalasinh ke paas aayaa aur unhonne aapas men behad bhaddee bhaddee gaaliyon kaa aadaan pradaan karate hue apanee antarng mitrataa ke aifeedaivit ko saarvajanik kiyaa. kaloote ne baune kee peeth par halkee dhaul see jamaate hue use bhee ek bhaddee gaalee dee aur ek beparavaah najr ham do piddiyon par daalakar laalasinh aur hamase apane peechhe aane ko kahaa.

kalootaa hamen ek gupt dvaar se bheetar le gayaa aur thard klaas kee sabase aage vaalee paant men hamen bithaakar nadee ho gayaa. binaa tikat pikchar dekhane kaa aanand dvigunit ho gayaa jab hamen intaraval men kokolaa aur moomafalee kaa fokat bhog lagaane ko milaa. kul milaakar pikchar ab tak badhiyaa chal rahee thee. bamafataakaa maalaasinnaa ke aate hee lafttoo meraa haath kas kar thaam letaa aur kuchh andabnd fusafusaane lagataa. dharamendar hameshaa kee tarah utanaa hee hokalet thaa jaisaa use hone kaa shraap milaa huaa lagataa thaa. lekin jab jab komedee ke drishy aate ham par mastee chhaa jaatee - pikchar men maimood bhee thaa aur madanapuree bhee aur aaneyaanyaanhaanhaanyaanyaan karate rahane se rogagrast kaainyaan jeevan bhee.

luft kaa klaaimeks tab aayaa jab maimood aur bamafataakaa haathagaadee men teparikordar jaisaa ek bachakaanaa saa vaijnyaanik upakaran le kar bheekh maangane kaa naatak karate hue de daataa ke naam tujhako allaa rakkhe gaane lage. pahale stainjaa ke khtm ho chukane par lafttoo kee samajh men dhun baith gaee aur usane agale stainje ke chaaloo hote hee apanee seet se khade hokar baakaayadaa koolhe matakaane kaa kaaryakram shuroo kar diyaa. peechhe kee seeton se "oe baith jaa be launde!" kaa uchchaar vibhinn shailiyon-gaaliyon men hone lagaa. laalasinh ne dapatakar lafttoo ko seet par bithaayaa par ab pikchar men man kisakaa laganaa thaa. usane mujhe chikotiyaan kaatate hue befaalatoo hnsanaa jaaree rakhaa. jaise taise pikchar nibatee. laalasinh ne hamase jaldee-jaldee nikal lene ko kahaa taaki koee parichit hamen vahaan dekh gharon par chugalee n kar baithe. vah svayn kaloote se ek dafaa milakar usakaa aabhaar vyakt karane kee mnshaa rakhataa thaa.

himaalay se baahar nikalakar ham seedhe ghar n jaakar bambaagher kee raah lag liye. mere poochhane par lafttoo ne bas aankh bhar maaree aur de daataa ke naam kaa jaap karanaa jaaree rakhaa. das minat men ham jaguvaa paunk ke ghar ke baahar the. nirdhan jaguvaa hamase is maayane men ameer thaa ki usake paas bairingagaadee thee. aisee gaadee mere paas almode men thee par raamanagar men hamaaree mitramndalee men aisee gaadee sirf jaguvaa ke paas thee. lafttoo is gaadee ko jaguvaa se kuchh din udhaar maangane kee neeyat se aayaa thaa. jaguvaa ne ahasaan maanate hue bahut khushee khushee yah satkarm kiyaa.

agale kaee din hamaaree shaamen is bairingagaadee kee savaaree karane men beetatee thee. ghaasamndee ke aage aspataal kee thodee see chadhaaee thee. ham lakadee ke fatton aur trakon ke bairingon se banee is gaadee ko saaid men dabaakar aspataal tak le jaate aur vahaan se usakee savaaree karate tejftaar se seedhaa ghaasamndee ke muhaane pahunch jaayaa karate. bntoo ise bahut chhotaa kaam maanataa thaa aur hamen bairingagaadee thaame dekhate hee apane ghar men ghus jaataa. use dar lagataa thaa ki kuchh aanyabaany kahakar lafttoo usakee bejjatee kharaab kar degaa. haan is kaaryakram men hamaare saath baagadbillaa, goloo aur yadaa kadaa maukaa nikaalakar aayaa fuchchee bhee shaamil ho jaayaa karate. ekaadh baar jaguvaa nirdeshak kee haisiyat se hamen bairingagaadee kee takaneekee jatilataaen sikhaa gayaa thaa ki kaise jyaadaa speed men gaadee ke aate hee fatton se bane pletaform ke aage lage ek chhed se chhotee se lakadee ko sadk par chhuaa dene se raftaar kam kee jaa sakatee hai.

ek baar main gaadee thaame aspataal kee chadhaaee chadh rahaa thaa aur lafttoo ghaasamndee par abhee abhee mauj kaat kar meraa intajaar kar rahaa thaa. use kuchh aaidiyaa soojhaa aur usane bhaagakar mere peechhe aakar kahaa "neeche lak de gaalee" mere kuchh samajhane se pahale usane mere haath se chheen kar gaadee jmeen par rakhee aur mujhe us par baith jaane kaa aadesh diyaa. main kuchh sakuchaataa saa us par baithaa hee thaa ki usane mujhe bamay gaadee ke aage ko thelanaa shuroo kiyaa. us par maimood vaalee mauj chhaa gaee aur usane mujhe dhakelane ke saath saath kahanaa shuroo kiyaa "de de, de de bhagabaan ke naam pe de de. intalanechhanal fakeel aae en ... tudako lakke laam tudako all lakke ... allaa lakke ... allaa lakke ..." aasapaas chal rahe logon men se kuchh ne ajeeb see dilachaspee se hamaaree taraf nigaahen daaleen aur kuchh ne "haraamee launde" kahakar lafttoo kaa utsaahavardhan aur meraa apamaaneekaran kiyaa. jis gati se mujhe thelaa jaa rahaa usase jaahir thaa ki mudit lafttoo naach rahaa thaa. kuchhek aavaaraa bachche hamaare tole men shaamil ho gae. achaanak saamane se lafttoo ke bade bhaaee ke aate hee hamaaraa kaaryakram samaapt ho gayaa. kaaryakram kaa ant vaisaa hee huaa jaisaa pahale hotaa aayaa thaa - lafttoo kee thukaaee, mujhe usake saath n rahane kee manahoos salaah aur bairingagaadee ko usake maalik ke paas turant pahunchaane kaa framaan.

lute-pite se ham bairingagaadee ko thaame bhavaaneegnj pahunche hee the ki baajaar vaalee ek galee se daine baale siree bhagavaan kahataa huaa luchche bhikhaaree namoodaar huaa. lafttoo ko kyaa soojhee usane apanee jeb se das-bees paise nikaal kar bhikhaaree se kahaa ki vah use ye paise jabhee degaa jab vah bairingagaadee men baithakar hamaare saath bambaagher tak chalegaa. bhikhaaree ne aankhen michamichaakar lafttoo aur mujhe pahachaanane kaa prayaas kiyaa aur kuchh der sochane ke baad paise thaam kar apanee potalee samet gaadee men baith gayaa. lafttoo ne bhikhaaree ko thelane kaa prayaas kiyaa par bah khaasaa bhaaree thaa so mujhe bhee laganaa padaa. lafttoo ne use salaahen denaa shuroo kiyaa "kitte din yeee kaitaa raegaa ... too bol bhaut kalataa e ... aitaa kal main tude ek nayaa gaanaa chhunaataa oon ... itako yaad kallegaa to bhaut paite milenge ..." ekadam se abhee abhee huee sutaaee bhoolakar usane jor jor se maimood-prograam staart kiyaa "de de, de de bhagabaan ke naam pe de de. intalanechhanal fakeel aae en ... tudako lakke laam tudako all lakke ... allaa lakke ... allaa lakke ..." bhavaaneegnj ke saare bhadee dukaanon se baahar aakar is drishy ko dekh kar thathaakar hns rahe the. is se lafttoo aur utsaahit huaa aur usakee aavaaj men aur josh bhar gayaa. ateek bhadee hamen pahachaan gayaa aur bolaa "haraamiyo kaae tng kar rae ho buddhe ko." lafttoo ne aankh maar kar us ke bade hone se dare binaa kahaa "bidanet e thabakaa apanaa apanaa bete ..."

bhikhaaree sambhavath kaafee thak aur chat chukaa thaa aur ek jagah jraa see chadhaaee aane par bairingagaadee ke thaharate hee apanee potalee samet bhaag khadaa huaa.

ham jaguvaa kee gaadee lautaa kar vaapas ghar laut rahe the. raaste men ateek bhadee ne hamen ek motee gaalee dete hue chetaayaa ki vah durgaadatt maassaab se hamaaree shikaayat karegaa ki ham kaise ek boodhe bhikhaaree ko pareshaan kar rahe the. lafttoo ne nirvikaar bhaav se javaab diyaa "apanaa apanaa bidanet e bete ..."

haath aae kisee khajaane ko majabooree men vaapas lautaa aane kaa shok hamaare beech pasaraa huaa thaa. achaanak lafttoo bolaa "bete maud aaee?" "haan yaar aaee lekin teraa bhaiyaa bahut haraamee hai."

"halaamee hai thaalaa magal gabbal chhe jaadaa naeen" kahakar usane jeb se paanch kaa mudaatudaa not nikaal kar dikhaayaa. kaee dinon baad itanee badee rakam dekhee thee to mujhe gash jaisaa aayaa. "kyaa bechaa toone?" mainne jaanaboojhakar beparavaah banane kaa draamaa karate hue us se poochhaa.

(jaldee hee aage kee kahaanee pesh karataa hoon saahebaan. kuchh ghareloo vivashataaon ne haath thaamaa huaa hai. dhairy dharane ke lie dhanyavaad.)